The end-of-year holidays and Christmas arrive every December, carrying a promise of togetherness, celebration, and reflection. For many people, this season is associated with joy, family traditions, and a renewed sense of hope. But when you are going through infertility treatment or have experienced pregnancy loss, those same celebrations can quietly turn into a constant reminder of the milestones you are still trying to reach.

December is a time when families gather, conversations revolve around children, and questions about future plans become almost unavoidable. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or simply spend time with loved ones during these weeks, the presence of young children and the strong cultural focus on family life can make this season feel especially complex and emotionally demanding.

If this end-of-year feels heavier than celebratory, I want you to know that you are not alone. Your pain is valid, and you deserve to move through these dates in whatever way best protects your emotional well-being.

Infertility and Mental Health: What the World Health Organization Wants You to Know

Recently, the World Health Organization published its first global guidelines on infertility, formally recognizing it as a public health challenge that affects one in six people of reproductive age.

In these guidelines, the WHO highlights the importance of continuous psychosocial support for those facing infertility, validating that this journey is not only physical but also deeply emotional.

Why does this acknowledgment matter so much? Because it finally puts into words what many people experience silently. Infertility is not limited only to the body or during medical appointments. It is a weight that impacts mental health, strains relationships, and leads many people to question their sense of identity and belonging. During the end-of-year holidays, that weight can feel almost tangible.

Why Infertility Feels Heavier During the Holiday Season

End-of-year celebrations are culturally designed around family life and children. Family gatherings tend to center on the youngest members, conversations naturally shift toward who is expecting or expanding their family, and traditions themselves often involve several generations coming together

When you are going through a fertility treatment or grieving a pregnancy loss, each of these situations can feel like an open wound. Seeing family members with their children, listening to parenting stories, or being faced with the question “And when will it be your turn?” can trigger a wave of emotions that may range from sadness to frustration or anger.

You are not overreacting if this season feels harder than the rest of the year. The contrast between the expected joy of December and your emotional reality can be exhausting in ways that are difficult to explain to others.

7 Practical Ways to Protect Your Mental Health During the Holidays

1. Celebrate at Your Own Pace

You don’t need to say yes to every invitation. Declining an event or leaving earlier than planned is completely acceptable. Before committing, take a moment to ask yourself quietly whether you truly have the emotional energy for it that day. If the answer is no, remember that protecting your inner peace matters more than fulfilling social expectations.

When you prefer not to attend, having a simple phrase prepared can be freeing. You might say, “We are keeping things simple this year,” or “We already had something planned.” You do not need to offer further explanations. Your time and energy belong to you.

2. Prepare for Uncomfortable Questions

We know that during family gatherings, unexpected questions about children or family plans can arise. To avoid being caught off guard, it can be very helpful to have a few responses ready. The goal is not confrontation, but calmly protecting your personal space.

You could try responses such as:

“That is actually very personal for us. Let’s talk about something else.”

“I appreciate the concern, but it is a private topic. Tell me about yourself.”

“When there is something to share, I promise you will be the first to know.”

“We are not rushing into that right now. How have you been?”

A helpful tip is to practice these phrases out loud with your partner or a trusted friend. Simply having the words prepared can take power away from the question and give you a greater sense of control.

3. Create an Exit Signal With Your Partner

If you attend gatherings with your partner, agree in advance on a word or signal that communicates “I need to leave now.” This might be a specific phrase, a gesture, or even a certain look. It allows you to support one another without having to explain anything in the moment.

4. Allow Yourself to Experience Your Feelings

You do not need to perform holiday cheer if you are not feeling it. It is okay to cry, to feel angry, or to wish that December would pass more quickly. The culture of mandatory happiness during the holidays can make sadness feel like something to apologize for, but your emotions are completely legitimate.

If you need a moment alone during a gathering, take it. Step outside, go to the bathroom, sit quietly in your car. Give yourself time and space to breathe.

5. Be Mindful of Social Media

In December, social media often becomes a constant stream of curated family photos, pregnancy announcements, and celebrations centered around children. It is completely normal for this to have an emotional impact.

You may want to consider muting certain accounts temporarily, setting daily limits on apps, turning off notifications, or taking a full break from social media during the holidays. Your mental health is worth far more than staying constantly connected.

6. Create Traditions That Feel Right for You

If traditional family celebrations feel too painful this year, it is okay to create your own alternatives. This might include traveling somewhere unfamiliar, volunteering for a cause that resonates with you, sharing a quiet dinner with your partner, or celebrating on a different date with people who truly understand your experience.

There is no single correct way to celebrate the holidays.

7. Seek Specialized Professional Help

Infertility often requires specialized psychological support. A therapist with experience in reproductive health and pregnancy loss understands the unique layers of this pain, including the loss of control, the grief for the child who has not arrived yet, the emotional toll of treatments, and the impact that all of this has on identity and relationships.

5 Meaningful Ways to Support Someone Facing Infertility

If you have a family member or friend navigating fertility challenges, your support can make a meaningful difference, not only during the holidays but throughout the year.

Avoid asking “When are you going to have children?” Even when well-intentioned, this question can be deeply painful. 

Validate their experience without minimizing it Avoid phrases like “Just relax” or “Everything happens for a reason.” Instead, try saying, “I am so sorry you are going through this,” or “I am here if you need anything.”

Offer concrete support Rather than saying “Let me know if you need something,” you could ask, “Can I bring you food on the day of your procedure?” or “Would you like company for your appointment?”

Respect their privacy Do not share their situation with others without permission. Infertility is deeply personal, and only they can decide when and with whom to share it. 

Stay present without pressure. A simple message checking in can mean a great deal, even if they are not ready to talk.

You Are Not Alone

Infertility can feel like a lonely road, especially during the holidays when the world seems to celebrate exactly what you are struggling to achieve. But millions of people are walking this same path, carrying similar emotions and challenges during this season.

Caring for your mental health is not selfish. Setting boundaries is not rude. Feeling sadness in December does not make you a bad person.

As the year comes to a close, give yourself permission to navigate these days in the way that feels safest and most supportive for you. Your emotional well-being is just as important as any medical treatment.